Understanding....

So.

Monday, I gained a bit more understanding of what the people who say that their hair is unmanageable go through, and I got proof positive that it's not my hair that is so different that makes it 'manageable' it's how I maintain and manage my hair that makes it manageable. I don't even think it's the products - it truly is the process, and when I deviate from that process, I pay.

First, let's start with this weekend. I clarified my hair, which always allows it to shrink up to it's fullest - my hair is most naked when it's clarified. I've yet to figure out what is on my hair that keeps it not as shrinky, but a good clarifying makes it super shrinky. Anyhow, I half and half'ed afterwards, under steam, then detangled (a little harder than usual, but normal for post-clarifiying), and braided to air-dry.

Sunday, I was cooking and doing other things, and I lost track of time - so by the time I sat down to do my hair, I really had only enough time to do the back, as I was not about to stay up for the extra 1.5 to do the front. I did the back in my usual twists, and then put the front into two loose flat twists, tucked under themselves. (Error 1 - a loose twist Error 2 - not securing it). The next morning, I took my usual shower (Error 3 - no shower cap), and then realized that the ends had shrunken over night so that they were no longer tucked into themselves. I 'fixed' that by braiding the ends together, and then went to work. Ugh, I hated that style - just - so unsatisfactory, but it was as it was.

I got home that night, worked out (in the state my front was, that was Error 4), and then went to sit down and twist the front of my hair.

Oh. My. Gods. It took me 3.5 hours - and at least 2.5 of those hours was JUST detangling, bit by bit, the tangles that my hair had worked itself into. I didn't just have my 'usual' tangles that kept themselves at the ends of my hair - no, no, I had tangles all up and down my hair shaft, almost to the root in some area. It was literally HORRFYING. I've gotten VERY spoiled by my hair, I'll admit, and going through that - it was SO tiring. And of course, I was being as gentle as I could, which made the process even slower - but still, by the time I was done, my scalp was throbbing from all the tugging and pulling I had to do in order to fully detangle my hair (again!!) in order to two strand twist it.

I was truly shellshocked - and that was from just allowing my mostly stretched hair the tiniest bit of freedom to tangle into itself. I might be seriously tempted to shave my head if I attempted to do a wash and go - or give myself a perm - because that's just how tangled and knotty it would be, and heaven knows, I'm not a patient person. *lol*

I really think that if I hadn't made Error 2 - not securing the twists in the first place - I wouldn't have had the issue, at all. If I had either left my hair in the air dried braids Sunday night, and loose twisted (and secured!) them Monday morning, I would have been fine. If I had secured the twists by braiding the ends to each other on Sunday night, I would have been fine. But giving my hair the leeway to shrink up, uncontrolled? Hah!

Never. Never. NEVER. will I make that error again. Even DH was cringing in sympathy for me.

I can say though, that my hair is much stronger and much healthier - I did have some breakage to deal with (and I think that was mostly my fault in not soaking my hair in more of my leave-in before starting to detangle) but mostly - my hair was STRONG! It was tangled, and it LIKED it that way, dammit! *lol*

Anyhow. That was my eye-opening experience.

At the same time, though, it even further solidified my thoughts that our hair is not innately unmanageable, amusingly enough. For a while, I was doubting myself, and thinking - hey. My hair used to be unmanageable. Maybe it's not really what I'm doing, but I've got 'manageable' hair when it's healthy.

Nawh, sista Nawh.

My hair is 'technically' just as tangly, knotty, stubborn and 'difficult' as it always has been - unhealthy or not - but now I know how to manage it, thus I make it manageable.

But, I can also acknowledge now, that it is a process. Just the process of fully detangling my hair - so that I can pull a rattail comb through a section smoothly, from root to tip - is an involved process. And I can see it literally being an all day process if I ever allowed it to retangle fully. It's a process to keep my hair 'stabilized' so that it doesn't have the ability to shrink up and tangle. It's the process that works, not some 'certain' type of hair, or some 'magic' product. And the more faithful I am to the process, the easier my hair becomes.

Another thing Monday confirmed for me was that as I gain more length my hair will be undoubtedly easier to handle. I'm thinking that I'll have a hard time until my hair is fully BSL - another 3 years, I'm thinking. After that, it'll be smooth sailing.
The reason for that is that is quite simple. If I maintain my hair, the only parts that get really tangled are the ends - last 3 inches, or so. If I can see the ends, it takes me about 1/4 of the time to detangle them than it does if I can't see them.

So.

Despite the pain and whinging I did on Monday over my hair, I'm kinda glad it occured. No longer do I have to wonder what would happen if I opted to go for a wash and go - I've seen a sliver of the future, and I'm just plain not interested. I've learned something new - a new piece of the process that I was doing without realizing it that is vital (securing the ends, somehow). I've reassured myself that as long as I maintain a process, I won't encounter more issues with more hair - even as it gets thicker.

Overall, I'm happy. Haven't touched my hair all week, because happy or not, I think we need a lil break from each other, but tomorrow night I plan on lavishing it in conditioner BEFORE I even take my twists down, to insure that any tangles I might have missed (esp. at the roots) get some extra weight on them before I 'release' the hold. I think I'll also do a salt treatment this weekend - after all the drama I put my ends through, I think they need it. *lol*

And, if I can find my tripod, I might do a video this weekend. I did a video tour of our house for my mom, and I really like our video camera - I should use it more often. I'm longwinded though (hah, no surprise there!) so it might be interesting to edit.

Ah! Also, I finally compared my written list of leave-in ingredients to the list I posted - and go me, I got them all right on the first go around.

First, I must, must, must give a shout out to Muslim Bushido, and her latest blog entry about Feeling Flawless. I've always given a bit of a side-eye to how the concept of being 'That Girl' has been portrayed when I've seen it - it always seemed to have more of a focus on being 'stylish' and 'fashionable' more so than being gorgeous and authentic - two things that often require independence from 'fashion' in order to truly achieve.
Anyway, reading the above blog - and the very insightful comments linked to it - clarified for me just what I want/need to do in order to feel flawless, and the fact that I am close - I have a personal style, without a doubt. I just need to improve the quality of the items that I own that represent that style. *sigh* And I really need some better/new shoes - I know exactly what style I want, it's just a matter of finding them.

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Okay, now on to the hair.

I did find the list that had all of my ingredients on it, but I never compared it to what I listed here - I do believe that it is pretty darn close, though.

This weekend I did a half&half caramel & conditioner treatment - 2 hours under the steamer and my hair was so happy it almost didn't know what to do with itself.

DC'd overnight last night with EQP IFC, EQPCR and TJR watered down, and my hair was so soft and fluffy today - and several of my twists came out as well. My hair is so moist it's seriously just off the hook!

I did notice this morning - or re-notice, I should say, just how not thick my hair really is. I have body, not thickness. If I take a two strand twist, and pull it so that it's 'stretched', it's about 1/4 inch wide. If I let it go, it's more like 3/4 of an inch wide. My hair is SOOOO not thick - it just traps a lot of empty air. *laughs* So, I'm still hardcore on my goal to thicken, thicken, thicken my hair.

There's a new meme on LHCF talking about using caffeine to increase the growing phase (anagen?) of the hair by 37%, and stimulate the follicles to encourage faster growth. I'm so all over that, but oddly enough, I haven't been in a mad scientist mood lately (which is why the ceramide post still isn't up - though I might be inspired to work on it, since one of the sisters actually found a source for pure ceramide.) so it might be a while before I put up some detail about that. I do know, though, that I will be trying it out - a lil caffeine powder in the MT, and all sorts of perking up will insue!

I need to take new pictures of my hairline - it's improving, but by the gods, its' improving so. slowly! I have a large assortment of baby hairs, though, and that's always a good sign.

I haven't decided what I'm doing this weekend, yet.

Style Ideas

French Twist/Roll: I might be able to make a small french roll/twist, possibly. I could try using the Clipdini thingy, and see if that works. I'm not sure if my crown would behave, though. I might be able to get a short angled part up there, too, maybe.




French Braid: I might be able to do this, as well - I know that I was almost able to pull off a flat twist down the middle of my head a few weeks ago on stretched loose hair. And I could definitely tuck the end of the 'twist' under the braid itself. The only downside to this - at least when I tried it before, is that in order to catch my crown, I had to start the braid so far forward on my head that I had a huge 'lump' type thing that made me look like a dinosaur, or something with my massive noggin.




Two-flat twists: Of course I could do these again, using two strand twists as the base. I kinda don't want to go back to the straight down the middle part, though, is the only thing. Meh.

More later, maybe.

Leaving it in...

So, I had to make a new leave-in on........ Sunday, it was, and as I was merrily mixing and combining, I realized why I never know what exactly is in my leave-ins/products - I'm always adding a dab of this and a bit of that and a little of 'Oh, I totally forgot I had this!' in until I get the smell/consistency/thickness that I want. Since all of my ingredients are good, the finished product is always love - but it's almost impossible for me to replicate!

So, I decided to write down what I used this go around and post it - and of course, I don't know where the scrap of paper that I wrote the list down on has gone, and it's at home, besides. I'm going to make my best guess/remembrance now, and see how off I was when I get home.

Mango Butter
Cocoa Butter
Shealoe Butter
Red Palm Oil
Oyin Burnt Sugar

(all of the above were melted in order to mix smoothly with the rest)

Avocado Oil
Castor Oil
MoeGro Oil
Vitamin E Oil

Honeyquat
Silk Amino Acids
Citric Acid

Elasta QP Intense Fortifying Conditioner
Eqyss Premier Cream Rinse

Lemongrass Essential Oil for the smell-good.

I think that's everything. I added the Burnt Sugar this time, because I felt like my leave-in needed some 'tackiness' in order to help hold my twists together better. Otherwise, I think that's pretty much a 'normal' list of stuff. I considered adding some hibiscus just for the color, but I opted not to because I don't know how well it would keep.

So far, I'm really pleased with this mix - my hair is soft, moisturized, smells wonderfully citrusy without being overpowering, and my twists are super stable - I'm going to have a FIERCE twist-out!

Also, I think that my hair is doing one of those sudden leaps in growth, or something, because it's getting harder and harder for me to tuck the ends of my flattwisted twists under themselves - the end of the twist that is 'loose' is almost as long as the whole twist on my head! Yay!!! So, I think that it might be time for me to figure out a new go-to style, still based on two strand twists. I'm kinda getting tired of the angled part, honestly, or I want it to be MORE angled, or something, and while the three sections are cute, I'm just - meh. I'm ready for something new. I've already browsed my style inspirations album, and nothing really jumped out at me. I think I'll review my subbed thread on LHCF, and see if anything tingles there, either.

Plus, of course, I've got combs and barrettes just itching to be used, too. Hrm. I don't think I have anything planned for this weekend, so I might play with my hair a bit then, and I'll try to take pictures of any successes.

The - interesting - part is that while it's getting long enough that what I'm doing now won't work for much longer, it's still not long enough to make a proper bun with all my hair. I know, I know, I'm picky, and realistically, I can make a bun now, I just think it looks like my head is .... attempting to complete the biological functions of elimination, and only pushed it halfway out. So, I won't wear a bun, now, though I seriously doubt anyone else would look at my head and think that. Yes, I'm strange.

But back to the point I was making - since my hair isn't long enough to do a bun, I have to figure out ways of putting my hair up that keep my hair more or less flat to my head - and while I do have a healthy amount of headspace, it's getting - messy, shall we say.

I suspect that I'll end up with just two sections, when it comes down to it, absorbing the back part upwards into the angled part - which I might makes a little shorter, too, and then have the sections meet a little back of my crown, and tucked/swirled/pinned in/under there. Hrrrm. Yeah, that would give me room to tuck 'down' all the way down the back of my head. I'll have to fiddle with the twist sizes, or figure out how to keep my roots neat (Oh!), but that might work. Heck, I might play with that thought tonight.

The Oh! was because I think I might have pinned down one of the reasons (besides just size) that my twists don't stay as tight on the roots - I realized that I'm not always getting my leave-in all the way down to the roots, and thus it didn't have any 'reason' to hold together. I tried to do better on this set of twists, and meh. *laugh* It's aiight. Not as tight, but I think there really might be an inverse relationship between root tightness and size of the twist.

Okay, off to dig for some styles.

Saturdayssssss.....

I'm going to try to get much better at recording the weekly 'what I do's' so that I can actually 'see' what the heck I'm doing over time.

Today, I'm steaming with ayurvedics & hibiscus, SAA, Honey, MT, EYPCR, EQPIFC, Cheapie, and a touch of Replenish.

I think I've figured out the PERFECT outfit to steam in. I have a thin knit lounge shirt with a hood on it. If I put the hood up on top of the turbies & showercaps, and put the bonnet over that, the hood nicely protects my neck from the heat, which makes this whole process ever so much more comfy.

I fully plan on steaming every weekend until my hair cries out in over-moisturized agony. *evil grin* Then, I'm gonna henna it. I think this might be how I get through the whole winter - steaming is nice when it's cold. *lol*

My hairstyle from yesterday (one comb, 2 GHD pins) not only lasted through the night, but also lasted being slept on, and allowed me to go and run some errands today feeling rather cute. I snapped a bunch of pictures, but I didn't grab the camera cable before I trapped myself under the steamer, so I'll have to add them later. Very cute style, if I do say so myself.

I'm starting to seriously consider how long I'm going to continue my current MT regimen. Not that I'm going to stop anytime soon, as my thoughts are running along the lines of 'By the time I'm BSL' more so than 'next month'.

My thoughts though, are centered around the limitations that daily use of MT places on my hairstyling options. I..... Hrmmmm.
I have to wear my hair in a way that is parted so that it allows me easy access to my scalp. And, I also feel that daily manipulation to create those parts is simply not something that my hair can handle, as that would require pulling it away from itself, and I prefer to do that when it's wet, and that defeats the whole purpose of stretching and etc, etc, etc....

But! I've always kinda had it in my mind that even when I did wear my hair stretched out, it would basically be in a daily twist-out, because I would twist my hair before I went to bed. And I'm thinking that if I can twist my hair, I could just twist it into 10 sections, or so, and MT those. But then, I don't know if that might be too much manipulation daily, too. It's not the movement, it's the pulling. *sigh* I'll have to think on it.

Steaming always makes me want to take a nap.

Oh! A treat!

I made a stable updo with a comb on my loose stretched hair.

Stable.

Loose.

With a comb. And, a couple of good hair days pins - two, I think.

Oh, sqqquuuuueee! It feels very loose, but very secure, all at once. Very nice. Very nice.

If it survives the party, I'll take a picture.

Keeping Track....

It's so interesting how even with only 'doing' my hair once a week, I can clearly see how changing something affects the detangling process the following week.

Last week, my hair was a bit difficult to detangle - my ends were clinging to each other like mad, despite me having done a salt treatment the week before, I think it was. I really need to get better at keeping track of when I do what, as time tends to blur into 'a few weeks ago' for me, no matter if it was a month ago, or if it was last week.

So, I did an acid rinse after I rinsed out the conditioner, which I used to do every weekend, but for some reason stopped doing. This week - my hair detangled like it was literally nothing. Fabulous. Small change, instant (okay, week later) results. And, I actually skipped my mid-week DC - I just plain didn't feel like it, and my hair didn't feel like it would revolt if I didn't do it, so there. *lol* I did manage to MT M/T/T/F, though.

I also gave myself a steam treatment today - I'm seriously mulling over doing that every weekend that I have time to do it - my hair comes out so happy. And since I finally have the TurbieTwists (no more using dishtowels!) it's a heck of a lot easier, too. I'm considering going back for the white ones, as the amount of dye that is bleeding out of these while I'm nuking them is a wee bit scary.

And, for the first time, I used the last of the MT in my first bottle (finally! It's EMPTY!) as a DC, along with my usual hodgepodge of stuff - I also used up the last of my 8oz bottle of SAA - it's time I break into the 16 oz!

I grabbed a new cheapie conditioner from BigLots today - I don't feel like getting up to see the brand name right now, but it's a huge bottle - half gallon, maybe? of pink stuff with a pump on it. *laugh* Yes, I mainly got it for the pump, and it was a 'clean' con, and it's not very strong smelling, so it'll be a great 'stretcher' for my mixes.



What else? I still haven't gotten around to putting together all my thoughts (and links) on ceramides together yet - I'm mrrr because I really want to buy a bunch of stuff to experiment with, and well - *sigh* - that's just plain not happening right now.

What I need to do - hrm, I might do that tomorrow (but don't hold your breath) - is go through my cabinets, and pull out all of the stuff that I've purchased already to experiment with, and figure out a) if I still want to mess with it and b) if I do, figure out something to do with it.

One thing that I doubt I'll be meddling with at this point is the lactic acid. When I got it, I was still dealing with really gnarly detangling issues, but even after the crappy detangling session last week - meh, I'm not really trying for any additional curl 'loosening'. My hair is boing-free enough as it is. :(

I've got quite a few herbs that I haven't meddled with yet, and I might see if I can do something new with some of the oils I have, too.

I need to make a new leave-in for my twists, too. It's interesting, but the last couple of twists that I've done - the roots haven't 'twisted' very well at all. It might be because I'm trying to make the twists larger, overall (finished my twists in 1.5 hours last week!!), or it might be because after a couple of months of consistent protective styling, my hair is loosing some of it's 'boing', or what - I need something a little heavier/tackier to help them set up. Hrrrm. I don't think I used any glycerin in this last batch - I wonder if that makes a difference.
I would like to add some honey, but I don't have any preservatives, so that's out. Maybe just more shea butter, as that's a nice 'tacky' butter. *laugh* I'm starting to understand why people add beeswax to stuff.

Hrrm. I do have some cetyl alcohol, too - that's an emulsifying wax - last time I used it, I didn't bother reading the directions and totally screwed up what I was trying to make - I might try it again, now that I know where I went wrong. Hrrmm. Maybe.



I've been on and off experimenting with the combs and barrettes that I got from CrystalMood.com, and pulled off a kinda cute bun today. I still feel like my hair is far too short (or my head is too big), but it's natural poofyness is actually working to my advantage.

I've also almost completely transitioned to using combs for holding my hair up while I'm styling it - I feel like they are a lot less stressful on my hair than even the 'stress-free' scrunchies are, considering that I'm not putting them in and leaving them there, but instead are putting them in and out, in and out. With the combs, I can easily feel if hair is 'caught' on them long before I've pulled it hard enough to break a hair or three. I would love to find some seam free ones, but - meh, I'll be aiight.

I do like the fact that the CM combs are metal - while the edges aren't as rounded/smooth as they could be, I don't have to worry about micro-cracks that would snag hair, or about using them in wet hair.




In general hair news, all the hair that shed when I first started with MT is now showing up again as wee little shorties all. over. my. head. While on one hand I'm thrilled at the evidence of new hair (and the fact that my hair will continue to get thicker), it's rather irksome because now my hair is also almost instantly fuzzy. No such thing as a 'fresh' looking hairstyle now. I have broken back into the Burnt Sugar though - that and a tight scarf every morning are still my best bet when it comes to at least being able to leave the house without looking like a fuzz monster.

It's definitely still growing - as I'm combing out my hair in the front post conditioner, I can actually see what I'm doing now at the ends - I can see where there 'tangles' are - and the fact that most of the time, it's not really a tangle, it's just a section of curl that's curled onto itself/others just a wee bit too much. I seem to get all of the 'real' knots and so forth out while I'm detangling.

It's interesting - the longer my hair gets, the more I feel that the longer my hair gets, the easier it will be to take care of. Another long-time natural relaxed recently, and a lot of people are commenting that taking care of that much thick/long natural hair can be a real hassle - and I'm still really - yeah, I'll believe it when I see it - about the whole thing - even taking into account the thickness. *sigh*

It's not that I doubt the amount of energy that it took them/takes them to do their hair - not in the least. I'm doubting that it has to be that way. Meh. I don't know. We shall see. *laugh* I'll be rather disappointed if my hair doesn't get to the length where I can start to personally examine the challenge of literally having 'too much hair', and wanting to purposely make it thinner/tamer. But then, I think that my hair is pretty darn tame now, and I think that a set of cecile braids can be made to look real sexy. Meh. I don't know. I'll have to make a new tag, for this, and see if my imagination can cash the checks my ignorance is writing. ;)

I'm very interested to see how my hair acts over the winter, since winter is usually my stall season, and I'll be MT'ing and exercising this winter. I've been told to claim 3, and I'm hoping to be at 5 by my three month update, and at a full 4. I need to double check and see what APL is on me, in the shirt. I suspect it's around 8, but I'm not sure - I didn't look closely enough the last time I had it on.

I've become comfortable with the awareness that unstretched, my hair most likely won't look like it's past shoulder for at least another year, maybe even two. I'm still rather suprised how long my hair was when DH took the picture for me - it really has grown, and I simply could not see it. I was 'bald' less than 3 years ago! *laugh* It's wonderful.

Hair is wonderful.